Past Self

I am writing this because I am not sure if I will remember the next time.  I want it somewhere.  If my plans go accordingly, then I will be able to read this in the future and remember my lives.  If not then I am lost in the sea of all humanity and will never find out the truth. 

            I want to start by administering some tests for my future self, to get the ball rolling.  If you are really me then these things will ring true.  You will like the colour yellow.  For some reason yellow will bring you feelings of cuddling and the whish of cool air on a summer night.  These things have stuck with us throughout the years.  You will probably have brown hair and be attracted to other people with brown hair, though these are not
guaranteed.  Your eyesight is not always the best, either from your nature or something about you which lasts.  Also music follows you.  In no life have I ever been without music, I think I might be dead without it and this thought is one of the few each past that I remember has had, even the animal versions.  You will probably also be scared of cats a bit, or at least superstitious, and like rodents.  You’ve been a rat and a mouse a few times.  It is possible I am wrong, I understand very little despite all my work, but I believe that these things in some way will last, especially the music bit.  If All is willing you will still have a thirst for the answers as I do.

            It’s going to sound crazy, especially if what I have said so far gives you feelings of déjà vu, but you are not the only version of yourself.  You have ben reincarnated many times in the past and I know this because for some reason I can remember them all.  Never can in a past life have I been able to recall the events of my lives so vividly.  I do not think it is normal.  I think God made a mistake, if God exists.  I searched my whole life for the reason why.  Some have called me crazy but I have tried to keep a secret and have thusfar avoided the nuthouses.  I have not found anything.  Is there a God?  Heaven?  Does He know about me?  I know there are answers.  Maybe in the future we will know more. (1)

            I had to run.  That was the first thing I had to do.  Run for my life.  They found me, the FBI I think, some sort of federal looking people.  Please don’t freak out, God knows I did.  We don’t know anymore, we will never know more.  Take the book and burn it.  Burn it quick.  Too many of us have died for it, but I guess you’ll know that now. 

God made a mistake.

(1)     It took a long time to translate this, but I have it and have rewritten it for the future selves to use as they need.  You will find this book, locked, buried and hidden deep in the Everwood.  This place is still your home, I was drawn to it without any memory and I believe you will be too.  The key is at your first home, the one the original writer is from, Italy.  Look under the rocks near the stream, you’ll see it and you’ll know.  Follow the music.

Coffee and Police Boxes

                Rich smell of ground coffee, silent dark night street lights.  I sat at a table for two, me and Fen, in a small coffee shop.  No one could see Fen, Fen was magik of some sort.  I’ve tried many times to ask him what exactly he is and if there were others like him, but my questioning has been for naught thusfar.  A waiter came over to my table, this was a fancy coffee shop t seemed.  “The usual, Baker?”  I looked up at him.  It’s funny, I don’t remember ever having been here before.  But, then again, I don’t remember a lot of my life.  My brain is constantly reviewing memories and information and deleting the stuff I don’t need as much.  My body may live forever, but that doesn’t mean I have an infinite amount of nerve-endings in my head.

                “Yes, thank you,” I answered.  Mid as well see what the past version of myself likes.  The waiter nodded and went to grab a usual dish.  Fen smiled at me from across the table.  “Don’t remember this place, do you, Matt?”

                Fen lived forever too, obviously since he was magik.  Except he could remember everything.  “As matter of fact, I don’t.  No big deal though.  I’m sure when last I was here I was the life of the party.”

                Fen sorta looked like a little demon, except he had no feet.  He was red with little horns on his head and a big grin just like Chester Cat.  “I’m sure you were,” he said.

                I ignored him, mostly he was a pain, and stared at the television in the corner.  Doctor Who was playing.  I looked out the window at the police box across the street.  I could never be sure if it was me meeting the creators of Doctor Who which created the show or if it was the show that made me wish for my powers from Fen.  I guess no one will ever know.

                A cup of French vanilla chai was put in front of me, along with a blueberry bagel with butter instead of creame cheese.  Well, go figure it was just about my favourite food.  Past self doesn’t slack on pleasuring himself.  I ate the meal, said thank you, tipped well, and left.  The police box made a low hum before disappearing from the world.  No one would remember that police box ever being there.