Adventure Time Theme Song Extended

I won't usually be doing this because I figure not everyone who reads my blog full of stories and philosophy will want to listen to my music on my youtube channel.  But this is Adventure Time and you guys need to see it!  Also, a parody of Card Wars is coming, I've still got a lot to do but hopefully by two or three months it'll all be squared away.  See you on the flip side, stay groovy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et_imB4NbRM&feature=youtu.be

Logical Fallacies

The Problem with Logical Fallacies and why it doesn’t Really Matter Anyway

               

                “The problem with logical fallacies as a proof in philosophy is that they can be proven wrong by the Inconceivable Theory,” K-Dog starts.

                “The what?” G-Money asks, sitting on the other side of the table from K-Dog.

                “It’s a theory I just made up, look, don’t question it, just listen.  It is said in philosophy that the impossible is only known by that which is unimaginable, or, that which is impossible cannot be imagined.”

                “Right,” G-Money got this part, simple philosophical structure.

                “So a baby picking up a car is possible in philosophy even though it seems impossible in real life.  This difference lets us decide how and what to discuss within philosophy.  God could exist because we can imagine a big bearded man up in the clouds and true love could exist because it is imaginable that two people are perfect for each other.  Even if you don’t believe these things they are possible, despite whatever logical proofs you come up with.”

                “Despite any proofs?  What’s that supposed to mean?  I mean, if I had a real strong argument with some logical evidence and a sound conclusion then I’d prove God doesn’t exist.”

                K-Dog just stared at him blankly for a while before continuing in a well-mannered way which clearly told G-Money to shut his trap.  “Wrong.  You would have a valid and possibly sound argument (depending on some serious looking over) that God could not exist.  “Real strong” doesn’t count for shit here, it as to be absolute, and honestly I can’t even begin to fathom how you would come up with an argument without any measure of doubt would prove God does not exist anymore than anyone could prove God does.  We can only make extremely likely.”

                “Fine, alright.  So I can make pretty damn sure it’s true but you never know if some nutcase is going to believe whatever he or she wants.”

                K-Dog’s hand went to his forehead, where it rested, and waited for K-Dog to gain the courage to continue.  “The thing about philosophy G-Money, is that we don’t want possibilities.  Proof without doubt is what we are really after.  So anyway, if you’d be so kind to stop blurting out, my point was that one cannot achieve proof without doubt within an argument as long as the other side is imaginable, like God, true love, and babies lifting cars.  So what does that leave us?  Well, now we have logical truths.”

                “Those are square circles and married bachelors, right?” G-Money asks.

                “That’s right.  One cannot be married and a bachelor at the same time.  The two meanings of the two words are directly opposing each other.  One cannot exist while the other exist.  Circles cannot be square else they would be square not circle and chickens cannot be eggs else they would be eggs not chickens.  This is when logical fallacies come into play.  Logical fallacies are the best way to prove and opposing argument wrong because they are unimaginable and thusly impossible.  If you can prove something impossible that someone is arguing they really can’t go on arguing it without sounding stupid.”

                “But you said there is a problem with logical fallacies.”

                “Right on, I did.  My new theory, or perhaps old theory by a new name, what-have-you, the Inconceivable Theory.”

                “Where’d you come up with this swinger?”

                “Made it up after seeing a couple of rats of unusual size as a matter of fact.  Now hush you.  I’m going to start with a thought experiment to prove my theory.  Look now, imagine infinity.”

                “Got it.”

                “What are you imagining?”

                “Infinity, you just told me—“

                “What specifically, G-Money!”

                “Oh, um, numbers flying up towards an infinite amount of other numbers.”

                “Right.  So you know what infinity is at least, I was worried.  But look, I want to put forward that you are not imagining infinity.”

                “Whatcha mean I’m no—“

                “Shut it and listen.  Look, infinity is not one number after another spinning through your head, infinity is all the numbers all at once which in mathematical theory (or proof, what-have-you) continues forever.  You are only imagining set values on your way to infinity.  No one number can be imagined which is infinity, because infinity is all the numbers, going and going and going forever.  You can’t put it in your head.  You may understand the concept and how it works, we may even be able to measure infinity (did you know, for instance, there is more infinity between one and two due to decimal points then there is between 1 and forever (if counting on whole digits)), but you cannot envision what infinity is because infinity is really only a concept and not a physical thing.”

                “This seems a little sketchy K-Dog.”        

                “Take it or leave it G-Money, but unless you can show me how to imagine the everything, this makes sense.”

                “What about mirrors?  Two mirrors facing each other, that’s infinity.”

                “Well, I can prove that wrong real quick.  First off your vision, when looking down the infinite mirror world eventually cuts out into a point and so you aren’t seeing an infinite number of images.  And secondly your eyes work just like your mind does, they can only focus on one point at a time.  You can’t look at a cup and an orange at the same time and comprehend both, at least not in the same way (This I say, realizing there are experiments on sounds and sights talking about just this).  So really you are once again seeing points along the way to infinity but not all of infinity at once.”

                “Okay, fine, but so what?”

                “Don’t you see?  If you can’t imagine infinity it is impossible in philosophy and yet here we are in this universe where mathematically it has been proven infinity exists.  The unimaginable exists my friend, that’s what I’m getting at.”

                “It’s so it’s inconceivable… yeah I get it.”

                “Course you do, you’re smart G-Money.  But look, this doesn’t end with infinity or that unimaginable things can exist.  God is omnipotent, right?  All-powerful and the like?  And it is generally accepted that God must work in the realm of possible, of logical.  He can’t go making burritos so hot he can’t eat them or married bachelors because they are logically impossible.  Except…?  Go ahead…?”

                “Except that now impossibilities could be possible and we just can’t conceive them.”

                “Right on me boy.  The Inconceivable Theory.  That which is unimaginable is possibly possible and we just can’t even begin to comprehend what it is.”

                “So why doesn’t it matter anyway?”

                “What’s that?”

                “In the title you said, “and why it doesn’t Really Matter Anyway.”  I mean, you’ve gotten us in a pit of skepticism where everything could be or could not be possible.  Even Descartes “I think therefore I am” could be up for grabs.  You’re worse than Hume…”

                “Ah, well, look, first off that’s not exactly what Descartes said, and secondly, philosophers have a tendency, I think, to whisk away the inconceivable because if we can’t comprehend something we can’t begin to talk about it and it doesn’t actually matter.  But I call bullshit on that.  We can’t know anything for sure, I mean the world could be a carrot and brains could be in vats, and we have to realize that to move forward.  It does not good just pretending that this line of thinking is illogical, we have to try to figure it out.  Try is a very underappreciated word in philosophy I think.  And you know what, our hands are in front of us either way and whether I’m hallucinating or bullshitting, our hands are all we’ve really got to keep us here.  Mid as well keep on truckin’ and trying to figure stuff out.”

                “You know I hate you right?”     

                “Aw, yeah I do!”

Midsummer Day Dream

Midsummer Day Dream

                Honey-suckle, sunny, clear summer day.  Puddle of bubble in a dish, in the sky, floating, drifting in the wind.  Honey-suckle, hummingbirds hover, bee flutter.  The evening air is calming, friendly, knowing; gently, gently whisking on by.  Sweeping across the boys hair, brushing his cousin’s cheeks, ruffling her clothing.  Sun fading, orange and red, stark sky, dreamy clouds.  Hummingbirds flutter and bees hover, my cousin blows bubbles from a puddle in a dish.  Run, jump, and catch the bubbles, bubbles, bubble; double the trouble, a kid with bubbles.  Watch them drifting, prancing, in the evening air.  The honey-suckle sways, sweet scents fill the air, mix the bubbles, and watch the sun.

Fire burning, sizzle and pop the grill hisses, screeches.  Honey-suckle, hotdog sizzle-chuckle, hamburgers in the wind.  Tasty breeze moving bubble, rumbling tummies, perking noses.  Pepper in hand, crisp chirp of pop can snap.  Guzzle, fizz, burn, and sugar.  One bubble pop, two bubble pop, red cloud whispers, blue fish days. 

Dinner will be ready soon.  Hotdog and hamburger, corn on the cob; plate of stuffing, side of peas, extra butter, extra helping (or two, three, four, this many the plate holds).  Eat and eat, munch it up.  Pink lemonade for the drink, apple pie for the desert.  A good meal to fill the stomach.  A good meal to satisfy.  A meal like glee condensed and stored within.  Good food, warm back.  Days of summer sun and irresponsible fun.  Child of seven, cousin of five, playing with bubbles under the bright mothering sun.  Play with the bubbles, cause all possible troubles.  Run around, prance from field to field, and jump from cloud to cloud.  Bees buzz and hummingbirds murmur in the evening air.  Let be as shall be, all things too shall pass, without you or within you.  This words of wise, all known to the littlest.  The blissful, the gleeful.  The children of seven and cousins of five, those which play with bubbles as grown-ups jump to work, cook and look over.  And thus the summer evenings do go. 

Night sets in, the night to search out the sun.  Red fluff clouds, battle of blood for the sky.  Red and orange move to purple and blue.  Soothe.  Night falls in, calls to children, let lie that which once ran.  Fire once cold, the embres begin to glow.  Throw logs, break sticks, snap twigs.  All to feed the growing glow.  Consumes and eats, turns to ash, all which are given.  Fire bright, Earthen starlight.  Chairs warmth spread for all.  Sit and relax, long day of work, longer day of play, rest and let live that which shall pass.  Stories go around once or twice; tales of woe and epics of fantastics.  Give it out, let the children nod off.  Pepper in hand, snap metal cap, guzzle and sip sugar-taste water within.  Summer cold sets in.  Midsummer night envelopes like a dream.  Silence settles, slowly and willingly.  Fire bright keeps spirits alight. 

Back-straps, six-strings, acoustic beauty appears.  Play a tune, sing the music.  Easy, soft, tuning whips around the flames.  Sing a line, fix a string, sing another.  A poor man’s violin shows itself on the other side, the djembe starts up nearby.  Music plays.  The hummingbirds are gone, the bees stopped buzzing, and now it’s time for human to add to the universe.  Of all the chords, all the compositions of the cosmos, this is our tribute.  Child of seven listens, tapping along, learning how to play along with God.  Cousin of five lets the melody roll over, sliding down, drifting off in her chair.  Three-four, three-four, two-three, two-three, tap and tat.  Bongo beat base, holding the rest up.  Fiddle tiddles and taps, skipping and sliding.  Guitar hums a merry tune. Play the song everyone knows, sing the jingle our hearts beat too.  Go and go, on and on, till the fire dies.  Wood dwindles and night air sets in.  Not long is yet left of this summer night.  Not long is haven continued.

Goodbyes are exchanged.  Hands are waved, backs are patted.  Children should be in bed, dogs need let out back home.  The food was good, the day better.  Everyone loved the music; “We should do this again,” “You could start a band,” “Soon,” “Soon…”  And house full, night cheerful, turns quiet.  Silence, almost sad.  It is not the end; everything will go but everything lives on too.  Sad in a way, the music gone, but music still in the hearts of all those who listened and played, music living on even when gone, gone, gone…  Child of seven gets ready for sleep, brushing teeth and cuddling blankets beneath.  One more story, one more bedtime song, and bed time it comes.  Cousin asleep in the car, riding home, another asleep in bed, at home, warm and snug.  The day ends, the party over.  All move on.  All things too shall pass.

Heart: Story of I

Heart

I was deep in the heart of the forest.  Dark tree branches curled around me, aged lines edged into the bark; and roots as large as my legs broke from the trunk and dug into the ground, the forests blood vessels and support.  I would say it was midday, if daytime existed in this wood.  I would say that it was spring time, if time was perceivable in these shadows.  I was not even sure how I got here.  I would say I was lost, but how can one be lost with no destination? 

                Either way I walked.  My feet hit the ground, slow, hard, thumbs.  The beating, beating of a drum, my feet were, the thumbing of a heart.  The wind bustled the branches, shaking and wheezing, air passing through veins, an organ playing.  I trip and fall, the ground floats up to me, but I walk on still.  Water drips around me, falling from the treetops, seemingly raining from an abyssal sky.  I walk on into the forest (or out of the forest?).  There is a cat and it jumps away, black or brown, it startled me either way.  There is a grin, teeth and eyes, carved into a tree trunk.  Cat eyes, it has, and scratches bellow it.  The walk continues.

I start feeling tired.  My feet are dragging, I can’t hear anything but my heartbeat.  Thumb, thumb, thumb… It hums in my ear.  I start feeling depressed.  My head is spinning and my eyes start fluttering.  The ground comes up close to my face and the cat jumps over my feet.  There is a light, far away, perhaps the edge of the forest.  There is a light.  A light and then I remember:

                                                                                                                                                                         

It was Spring, sunny and nice.  April I think, but maybe May.  It was a nice day, bright and enjoyable.  I lay on a bench and let the sun warm me up.  A light in the sky, guiding my mind away.  Nothing mattered anymore.  I could hear a dog barking somewhere in the park and I could feel a gentle breeze touch my skin.  Nothing mattered at all; just me and a bench and then sun.

I had just eaten a big meal, a picnic with my cousins.  They had already left, back to home and back to school, but I stayed.  The park was too nice to stay.  I closed my eyes and envisioned the park, every detail seeming to glow in the afternoon light.  The maple trees tall and pretty, like ladies ready for a dance; and the one oak tree sitting plump on the far side of the park nearer the lake, like a fisherman wasting the afternoon away on an empty hook.  Green grass and blue skies, yellow sun and golden brown playground.  I could fall asleep right here, let myself drift away, just staring into the light…

And the light was gone and the forest center was there.  A lake, deep and dark, almost purple it seemed, at the center of the wood.  I stood and stared into its depths.  The wind created little tides, waves which crashed onto the banks of the lake.  Pebbles turned and dirt slid, an earthquake for the worm-world, the apocalypse to the ants.  I looked up and saw the light again, on the other side of the lake, waiting for me, whispering to me, “Come, come and warm yourself, let it go, come and warm yourself,” it said.  And I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn’t move.  And I wanted to I really did, but the waves were getting bigger and the wind was picking up.  My mind was spinning.  I wanted to I really did.  I wanted to reach the light, I did, I did, I did!  The world was flying around me, the land breaking and the waves rising.  Tide coming in today.  I wanted to reach the light.  But the light, and then I remembered:

Daddy was there, and the boat was rocking slightly.  Nice breeze.  There was a forest across the way, huge trees, branches the size of legs and trunks the size of cars.  There fishing poles were there, on the side of the boat.  Dad and I were waiting, patience was the most important lesson you can ever learn, he used to say.  It was such a perfect day for fishing, slightly breezy, not too sunny, just on the verge of a drizzle.

I kept watching the trees sway, waiting for the fish to bite, kept watching green leaves bristle through the branches.  It was like the sway of a dress, green and shimmering.  Then I heard a swish through the air, and felt the line pull.  My dad whipped around and grabbed the pole.  “We got one, we got one.  Go on, help me pull it in, it isn’t going to just jump on in!”  Fishing with my dad, the excitement on this clear afternoon, I could stay there forever.  Stay there under the shadow of the forest, fish on the line.

And I sputtered water out of my lungs.  A girl in a green dress was over me.  “You okay?” she asked.  “Where am I?” I answered.

The forest was around, dark and gnarly branches just as before.  So I stand and the girl in the yellow dress calls to me from in the forest, away from the lake.  She is running towards the light.  Suddenly I feel stronger, like I woke from a dream and gained control.  The girl in the blue dress had given me strength.  I ran after her.  I had to catch her, I had to reach the light.  Something was drawing me towards the light.  The girl in the white dress…

And there were others, any women, white dresses and white walls.  I heard a beat and I heard my heartbeat.  Wife and daughter and son were all around me.  I remembered pills by my side and the falling of my chest cavity.  The veins and the deep dark blood pouring out.  They looked scared.  I knew it was alright, I remembered, I had found the light.  I looked up at them and smiled.  Wife smiled back, a sad smile.  I said, “It’s alright now, it’s alright.  I’ll see you in the morning light, look for the light.”  And my eyes closed.  The forest was dark and scary, deep and rooted in a black hurt heart.  Something was wrong and off here, but not in the light.  The girl led me, led me and I was gone.  And everything was alright.  I could stay here forever, just in the light…