Logical Fallacies

The Problem with Logical Fallacies and why it doesn’t Really Matter Anyway

               

                “The problem with logical fallacies as a proof in philosophy is that they can be proven wrong by the Inconceivable Theory,” K-Dog starts.

                “The what?” G-Money asks, sitting on the other side of the table from K-Dog.

                “It’s a theory I just made up, look, don’t question it, just listen.  It is said in philosophy that the impossible is only known by that which is unimaginable, or, that which is impossible cannot be imagined.”

                “Right,” G-Money got this part, simple philosophical structure.

                “So a baby picking up a car is possible in philosophy even though it seems impossible in real life.  This difference lets us decide how and what to discuss within philosophy.  God could exist because we can imagine a big bearded man up in the clouds and true love could exist because it is imaginable that two people are perfect for each other.  Even if you don’t believe these things they are possible, despite whatever logical proofs you come up with.”

                “Despite any proofs?  What’s that supposed to mean?  I mean, if I had a real strong argument with some logical evidence and a sound conclusion then I’d prove God doesn’t exist.”

                K-Dog just stared at him blankly for a while before continuing in a well-mannered way which clearly told G-Money to shut his trap.  “Wrong.  You would have a valid and possibly sound argument (depending on some serious looking over) that God could not exist.  “Real strong” doesn’t count for shit here, it as to be absolute, and honestly I can’t even begin to fathom how you would come up with an argument without any measure of doubt would prove God does not exist anymore than anyone could prove God does.  We can only make extremely likely.”

                “Fine, alright.  So I can make pretty damn sure it’s true but you never know if some nutcase is going to believe whatever he or she wants.”

                K-Dog’s hand went to his forehead, where it rested, and waited for K-Dog to gain the courage to continue.  “The thing about philosophy G-Money, is that we don’t want possibilities.  Proof without doubt is what we are really after.  So anyway, if you’d be so kind to stop blurting out, my point was that one cannot achieve proof without doubt within an argument as long as the other side is imaginable, like God, true love, and babies lifting cars.  So what does that leave us?  Well, now we have logical truths.”

                “Those are square circles and married bachelors, right?” G-Money asks.

                “That’s right.  One cannot be married and a bachelor at the same time.  The two meanings of the two words are directly opposing each other.  One cannot exist while the other exist.  Circles cannot be square else they would be square not circle and chickens cannot be eggs else they would be eggs not chickens.  This is when logical fallacies come into play.  Logical fallacies are the best way to prove and opposing argument wrong because they are unimaginable and thusly impossible.  If you can prove something impossible that someone is arguing they really can’t go on arguing it without sounding stupid.”

                “But you said there is a problem with logical fallacies.”

                “Right on, I did.  My new theory, or perhaps old theory by a new name, what-have-you, the Inconceivable Theory.”

                “Where’d you come up with this swinger?”

                “Made it up after seeing a couple of rats of unusual size as a matter of fact.  Now hush you.  I’m going to start with a thought experiment to prove my theory.  Look now, imagine infinity.”

                “Got it.”

                “What are you imagining?”

                “Infinity, you just told me—“

                “What specifically, G-Money!”

                “Oh, um, numbers flying up towards an infinite amount of other numbers.”

                “Right.  So you know what infinity is at least, I was worried.  But look, I want to put forward that you are not imagining infinity.”

                “Whatcha mean I’m no—“

                “Shut it and listen.  Look, infinity is not one number after another spinning through your head, infinity is all the numbers all at once which in mathematical theory (or proof, what-have-you) continues forever.  You are only imagining set values on your way to infinity.  No one number can be imagined which is infinity, because infinity is all the numbers, going and going and going forever.  You can’t put it in your head.  You may understand the concept and how it works, we may even be able to measure infinity (did you know, for instance, there is more infinity between one and two due to decimal points then there is between 1 and forever (if counting on whole digits)), but you cannot envision what infinity is because infinity is really only a concept and not a physical thing.”

                “This seems a little sketchy K-Dog.”        

                “Take it or leave it G-Money, but unless you can show me how to imagine the everything, this makes sense.”

                “What about mirrors?  Two mirrors facing each other, that’s infinity.”

                “Well, I can prove that wrong real quick.  First off your vision, when looking down the infinite mirror world eventually cuts out into a point and so you aren’t seeing an infinite number of images.  And secondly your eyes work just like your mind does, they can only focus on one point at a time.  You can’t look at a cup and an orange at the same time and comprehend both, at least not in the same way (This I say, realizing there are experiments on sounds and sights talking about just this).  So really you are once again seeing points along the way to infinity but not all of infinity at once.”

                “Okay, fine, but so what?”

                “Don’t you see?  If you can’t imagine infinity it is impossible in philosophy and yet here we are in this universe where mathematically it has been proven infinity exists.  The unimaginable exists my friend, that’s what I’m getting at.”

                “It’s so it’s inconceivable… yeah I get it.”

                “Course you do, you’re smart G-Money.  But look, this doesn’t end with infinity or that unimaginable things can exist.  God is omnipotent, right?  All-powerful and the like?  And it is generally accepted that God must work in the realm of possible, of logical.  He can’t go making burritos so hot he can’t eat them or married bachelors because they are logically impossible.  Except…?  Go ahead…?”

                “Except that now impossibilities could be possible and we just can’t conceive them.”

                “Right on me boy.  The Inconceivable Theory.  That which is unimaginable is possibly possible and we just can’t even begin to comprehend what it is.”

                “So why doesn’t it matter anyway?”

                “What’s that?”

                “In the title you said, “and why it doesn’t Really Matter Anyway.”  I mean, you’ve gotten us in a pit of skepticism where everything could be or could not be possible.  Even Descartes “I think therefore I am” could be up for grabs.  You’re worse than Hume…”

                “Ah, well, look, first off that’s not exactly what Descartes said, and secondly, philosophers have a tendency, I think, to whisk away the inconceivable because if we can’t comprehend something we can’t begin to talk about it and it doesn’t actually matter.  But I call bullshit on that.  We can’t know anything for sure, I mean the world could be a carrot and brains could be in vats, and we have to realize that to move forward.  It does not good just pretending that this line of thinking is illogical, we have to try to figure it out.  Try is a very underappreciated word in philosophy I think.  And you know what, our hands are in front of us either way and whether I’m hallucinating or bullshitting, our hands are all we’ve really got to keep us here.  Mid as well keep on truckin’ and trying to figure stuff out.”

                “You know I hate you right?”     

                “Aw, yeah I do!”